/ponderings/ding-ding-into-the-ring-and-breathing-under-water
So many layers and levels of “stuff” unravelling.
I feel like a Russian Doll with an infinite number of dolls inside me to reveal.
Have got to the point that each new doll is so small I need micro-tweezers to pry them open.
FFS .. this is intricate. This is insanely sober. This is dreadfully, awfully, wonderful.
One moment I’m questioning the point of everything…the next I’m delightfully ambivalent.
Ambivalence turns into disdain.
Disdain into despair.
Despair into disbelief.
Disbelief into relief.
Relief into serenity, comfort, strength, conviction.
Sobriety is the feeling of all and nothing in perfect harmony.
It’s overwhelming. It’s underwhelming.
Like realizing you can breathe underwater - it's shocking, only to the point of NOT drowning.
By the second breath under the sea it feels so natural, I forget what it was to panic.
"I die only to the reality of duality. "
"Breathe is the bridge to consciousness, the transformation of awareness into form and motion, the medium through which we witness the daily miracle"*
Ding-ding…The bell rings, Round 97… into the ring I go again.
To heck with the cuts and bruises….. Punch drunk perhaps, with this journey like no other.
Courage comes when one is frightened.
Fear dissolves when you face it in the eye, hold its head in your hands, and kiss it with all the passion that you are.
Kiss it so deeply, that fear’s heart flutters, it’s breath taken away, remembering that it has no reason to exist, and vanishes with a face of astonishment and bliss.
That which I know, becomes who I am.
Ding, ding…Round 98 ....Love is my protection.
* Juliet Carter
